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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24806) - you deserved it (21133)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38232) - you deserved it (10977)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (3155)
On 08/18/2010 at 6:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (44106)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (2556)
On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (6857)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (3051)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16767) - you deserved it (3634)
On 01/08/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by crappy_day (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16767) - you deserved it (3634)
On 01/08/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by crappy_day (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (5489)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (1497)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by sucks_brah (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19898) - you deserved it (2719)
On 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm - misc - by Goosey (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (8208)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21116) - you deserved it (9823)
On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13701) - you deserved it (7145)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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