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dealwithfire

Offline (the 08/29/2015 at 11:25pm) | Search for a member

dealwithfire

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 417
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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dealwithfire's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:23pm<b>dvsblade</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:43pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:00am

dealwithfire's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of dealwithfire's badges

dealwithfire's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11493) - you deserved it (38339)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (2663)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

#19368346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8454) - you deserved it (23294)

On 03/29/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by greeneyedpothead - United States (California)

Today, I found out my wife cheated on me with a guy from her work three times, two months before I proposed to her. She decided to tell me three months into our marriage. FML

#19177971
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (2444)

On 02/27/2012 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13357) - you deserved it (59512)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39175) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

#17398167
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (4676)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32280) - you deserved it (92374)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11616) - you deserved it (45537)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47279) - you deserved it (4963)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63816) - you deserved it (7788)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22226) - you deserved it (63977)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44084) - you deserved it (7170)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14406) - you deserved it (41310)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36114) - you deserved it (26072)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States



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