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dealwithfire

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dealwithfire

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 406
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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dealwithfire's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:23pm<b>dvsblade</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:43pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:00am

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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dealwithfire's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36858) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (7713)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18880) - you deserved it (1509)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (3216)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17989) - you deserved it (2014)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13001) - you deserved it (28207)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75594) - you deserved it (8825)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (3965)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13311) - you deserved it (164900)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19025) - you deserved it (1549)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (12831)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19245) - you deserved it (28010)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (5827)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11485) - you deserved it (38313)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (2428)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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