dealwithfire

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Offline (the 10/16/2016 at 3:24am)

dealwithfire

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 640
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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dealwithfire's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 12:17pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 9:12am<b>bigwell</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 1:46am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 12:34am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 12:20am<b>chewsef</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 12:10am<b>scarlet_54</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 10:54pm<b>jmiller123</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 7:40am<b>kirbo2</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:28pm<b>sloosh</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 2:47am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:40am<b>Glock2012</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 8:53pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:00pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 11:33am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 1:44pm<b>moejojo</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:31pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:23pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 6:09am<b>scarlet_54</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:54am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:40am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 5:34pm

dealwithfire's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of dealwithfire's badges

dealwithfire's favorite FMLs

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 4:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

by Cereal_mistress / 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

by mother to an ugly doll / 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

by hejdixjeln / 03/17/2013 at 6:25am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love