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dealwithfire

Offline (the 07/24/2015 at 10:41am) | Search for a member

dealwithfire

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 404
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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dealwithfire's page activity

Visits<b>python199</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:23pm<b>dvsblade</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:43pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:00am

Fucked!<b>python199</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:05am

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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dealwithfire's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29967) - you deserved it (3180)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64103) - you deserved it (8116)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47010) - you deserved it (34514)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32794) - you deserved it (91397)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (3678)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41048) - you deserved it (6564)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50379) - you deserved it (11369)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64987) - you deserved it (5974)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70117) - you deserved it (10302)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49332) - you deserved it (22044)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (6828)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (62176)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (10401)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48362) - you deserved it (6222) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30295) - you deserved it (3761)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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