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darkforce146

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darkforce146
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 932
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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darkforce146's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (3792)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62692) - you deserved it (10961)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (10624)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

#16661874
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52880) - you deserved it (4541)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm - love - by hatelife - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (55297)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12516) - you deserved it (45853)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend "Actually, its a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

#16640973
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54594) - you deserved it (3937)

On 06/13/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Bechara (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

#16624157
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30316) - you deserved it (5636)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:46am - work - by FreshFaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51874) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

#16599419
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (3226) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (45545)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

#16588229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (11288)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37477) - you deserved it (9242)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (5252)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

#16556995
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40869) - you deserved it (11958)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)



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