darkforce146

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Offline (the 03/16/2015 at 12:29am)

darkforce146

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2812
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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darkforce146's page activity

Visits<b>be_cre8tive2030</b> - the 05/10/2012 at 5:06pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 02/22/2012 at 2:56am

darkforce146's FML badges

Consolation prize

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It’s in the can

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Beginner

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darkforce146's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

by luni / 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

by suxx / 06/25/2011 at 4:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

by suxx / 06/25/2011 at 4:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

by PandaMantis / 06/25/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

by Eve / 06/24/2011 at 6:45am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

by Charles / 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

by fattymcbutterpants / 06/19/2011 at 1:19am / United States / Work

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

by stepmom / 06/18/2011 at 5:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

by seriouslybored / 06/17/2011 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

by Scholar / 06/16/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

by RedheadA / 06/16/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML

by Username / 06/16/2011 at 9:20am / United States / Love

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work