About darkfire4eva : Always on iPhone and Android App. So if you want to talk. Message me. But I might not reply
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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76026) - you deserved it (203401)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (197918)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14118) - you deserved it (170062)
On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11179) - you deserved it (164386)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25877) - you deserved it (228933)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66203) - you deserved it (179791)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (351486)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12167) - you deserved it (188316)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States
Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10442) - you deserved it (165772)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9086) - you deserved it (133608)
On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (142373)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53405) - you deserved it (418764)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42633) - you deserved it (485937)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (146897)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34759) - you deserved it (203575)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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