About darkfire4eva : Mmm... 2 words
1st word: 4 letters
2nd word: 3 letters
Could mean anything. Hi there. I'm Zoey.
Enough about me though.
About darkfire4eva : Mmm... 2 words
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I agree, their lives suck
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darkfire4eva's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
by Oops / 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tattery / 07/03/2014 at 7:55pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
by blood buddies / 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
by pissed off / 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
by unwanted daughter / 07/02/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by devdevdev / 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Love
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
by TheKingKen / 07/01/2014 at 8:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by whoops / 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML
by ~~~ / 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work
Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML
by a fat fucking shit and proud of it / 06/28/2014 at 3:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Work
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals
by DF / 06/26/2014 at 10:58am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled,… Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM… Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce…