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danishbagel

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danishbagel
  • Town/Country : Hørsholm, Denmark
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1958
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danishbagel : I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite.

If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)

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danishbagel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (13147)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113714) - you deserved it (71758)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

#2251338
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70883) - you deserved it (7017)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60805) - you deserved it (3349)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl that comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out, by writing my number on a dollar bill. She pays and a dollar is her change. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change". FML

#2043522
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40901) - you deserved it (15495)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:45am - love - by oops (man) - United States (California)

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

#1667670
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (24384)

On 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

#1665462
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (8158)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

#641571
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49643) - you deserved it (6571)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

#621353
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56567) - you deserved it (29381)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by johnfrank (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

#621353
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56567) - you deserved it (29381)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by johnfrank (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

#410087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59284) - you deserved it (21638)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

#264253
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27833) - you deserved it (49555)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13390) - you deserved it (56717)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

#155544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (40385)

On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

#151605
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (43289)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - love - by Ma.Sa.La. (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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