About Danishbagel
I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite. If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)
Danishbagel - Followers
Danishbagel - Followed
Danishbagel's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
    80,100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
    5,000%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    4%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    12%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    59%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    128%
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    40%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    98%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    3%
The list of badges to find
Danishbagel's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

By Kourou / Friday 21 November 2008 12:53 / France

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 12 March 2012 04:16 / United States

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

By Lea - / Monday 16 January 2012 20:18 / Denmark

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

By Anonymous / Thursday 17 November 2011 02:24 / United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

By Deborah / Thursday 27 October 2011 06:41 / United States