Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

danishbagel

Search for a member

danishbagel

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2284
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danishbagel : I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite.

If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)

danishbagel's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:18pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:16pm<b>drewski_14</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:23am<b>PHP</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:29pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:39pm<b>miyaviichan</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 9:32pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 10:13am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:23am<b>ForbiddenDestiny</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:12am<b>sallywifeofjack</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 2:29am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:43am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 1:33am<b>Allornone</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 11:20pm<b>zinji707</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 3:57pm<b>Starter</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:26am<b>L_Lovegood</b> - the 03/16/2012 at 1:28am<b>Fruitmonster2</b> - the 03/16/2012 at 1:06am

danishbagel's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

danishbagel's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML

#5821457
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (1729)

On 10/13/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by stepknee (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (4355)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

#5001018
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39287) - you deserved it (3724)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45918) - you deserved it (6199)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

#4476894
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18690) - you deserved it (36993)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm - misc - by signupsheetfail (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML

#4470917
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55020) - you deserved it (20387)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:18am - love - by sadsongstress (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62152) - you deserved it (9125)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75752) - you deserved it (6557)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

#4380493
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40943) - you deserved it (6163)

On 08/08/2009 at 4:48am - misc - by rivercitybarf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

#4380493
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40943) - you deserved it (6163)

On 08/08/2009 at 4:48am - misc - by rivercitybarf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

#4332975
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48649) - you deserved it (4324)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

#4095368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (2199)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:11am - health - by swaiteATC (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48318) - you deserved it (13748)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: