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danishbagel

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danishbagel
  • Town/Country : Hørsholm, Denmark
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1956
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danishbagel : I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite.

If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)

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danishbagel's favorite FMLs

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36089) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML

#10594488
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (2699)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Babygirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (2700)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22619) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML

#8410028
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (2318)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by fannylover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss' office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML

#7671025
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28940) - you deserved it (4095)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:33am - work - by boredatwork (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

#7423840
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22146) - you deserved it (1813)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out my boyfriends' mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

#7354557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (4874)

On 01/15/2010 at 6:37am - love - by Jumja (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

#7031264
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18393) - you deserved it (2018)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:36am - intimacy - by kte (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14402) - you deserved it (2426)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (11828)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (32217)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (3190)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)



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