Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About danishbagel : I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite.
If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015