Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

danishbagel

Search for a member

danishbagel
  • Town/Country : Hørsholm, Denmark
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1953
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danishbagel : I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite.

If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)

danishbagel's last visitors

OhthatsnastyForbiddenDestinyjadeluvFlamingColorAllornoneStarterL_LovegoodFruitmonster2Zebrasofa13

danishbagel's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

danishbagel's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

#12474079
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40755) - you deserved it (3105)

On 08/12/2010 at 8:02am - intimacy - by ScarredEars - United States

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

#12343499
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (4974)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21476) - you deserved it (34705)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (9880)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

#12239634
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (4764)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Chimychunga (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

#12112091
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (3291)

On 07/25/2010 at 10:32pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (2347)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

#12090028
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (2590)

On 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm - love - by ghostyyy - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (18352)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

#12077771
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (5578)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by luvlessbootycall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11391) - you deserved it (66910)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15409) - you deserved it (58187)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

#11923492
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (5481)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:38pm - misc - by apple (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47693) - you deserved it (3990)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47693) - you deserved it (3990)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: