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danishbagel

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danishbagel

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3205
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danishbagel : I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite.

If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)

danishbagel's page activity

Visits<b>ZombieSazza</b> - 11 hours ago<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:08pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:34am<b>clitoria</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:35am<b>sheba72</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 12:55am<b>mt631</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:45pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:42am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:37pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:18pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:16pm<b>drewski_14</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:23am<b>PHP</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:29pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:39pm<b>miyaviichan</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:23am<b>ForbiddenDestiny</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:12am<b>sallywifeofjack</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 2:29am

Fucked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:42pm

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danishbagel's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8431) - you deserved it (76306)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

#13111931
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (3478)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by lifesuck - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (6839)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

#13072362
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (3776)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:17am - health - by gretel (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

#13071256
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/16/2010 at 5:04am - misc - by itchybollos - Australia

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

#12858373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32455) - you deserved it (3222)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

#12832697
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (6739)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

#12832622
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (14376)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11130) - you deserved it (46495)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

#12802001
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (2205)

On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (29710)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

#12680643
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (5421)

On 08/22/2010 at 9:42am - health - by nothanks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (6978)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

#12650265
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you deserved it (4130)

On 08/20/2010 at 7:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

#12536265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39393) - you deserved it (2630)

On 08/15/2010 at 8:52am - love - by wtf - United States (Massachusetts)



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