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danishbagel

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danishbagel

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2246
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danishbagel : I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite.

If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)

danishbagel's page activity

Visits<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:16pm<b>drewski_14</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:23am<b>PHP</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:29pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:39pm<b>miyaviichan</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 9:32pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 10:13am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:23am<b>ForbiddenDestiny</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:12am<b>sallywifeofjack</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 2:29am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 11:43am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 1:33am<b>Allornone</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 11:20pm<b>zinji707</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 3:57pm<b>Starter</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:26am<b>L_Lovegood</b> - the 03/16/2012 at 1:28am<b>Fruitmonster2</b> - the 03/16/2012 at 1:06am

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danishbagel's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

#16938868
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (5820)

On 07/01/2011 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33606) - you deserved it (3891)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36643) - you deserved it (14231)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12618) - you deserved it (57839)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43361) - you deserved it (4579)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (13077)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (13077)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65272) - you deserved it (3606)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39508) - you deserved it (5207)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49499) - you deserved it (8052)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37105) - you deserved it (31464)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

#15408372
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (6140)

On 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (9338)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41638) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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