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danishbagel

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danishbagel

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 January 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3265
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About danishbagel : I'm red... I'm white... and I'm Danish dynamite.

If you're here to try and get some dirt on me, too bad. ;)

danishbagel's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:17am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:27pm<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:00am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 2:08pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:34am<b>clitoria</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:35am<b>sheba72</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 12:55am<b>mt631</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:45pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:42am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:37pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:18pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:16pm<b>drewski_14</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:23am<b>PHP</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:29pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:39pm<b>miyaviichan</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:23am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:17pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:42pm

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danishbagel's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (3243)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

#16938868
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (6194)

On 07/01/2011 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36475) - you deserved it (4134)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39608) - you deserved it (14978)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14059) - you deserved it (60974)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43687) - you deserved it (4612)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38658) - you deserved it (13863)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38658) - you deserved it (13863)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69113) - you deserved it (3862)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42509) - you deserved it (5511)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52533) - you deserved it (8339)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (32150)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

#15408372
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (6441)

On 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (9608)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44953) - you deserved it (3603)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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