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About dandified : I like cooking, cleaning and not being a 1950's housewife.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19047) - you deserved it (3150)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (2398)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (2905)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27272) - you deserved it (8521)
On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40158) - you deserved it (6021)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (4549)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (3184)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:36pm - animals - by riptoofie (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (7052)
On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (21162)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6878) - you deserved it (25693)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (22965)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (2456)
On 01/05/2010 at 10:30pm - animals - by nomorepetbird (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22771) - you deserved it (6360)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (2311)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7001) - you deserved it (43394)
On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
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