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About dandancc : My family thinks I'm a loser, my (ex)girlfriend can't see me as a man, people frown when I tell what I work with, and I only have crush for women with boyfriends.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (589) - you deserved it (4518)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)
Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4086) - you deserved it (474)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3419) - you deserved it (600)
On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5877) - you deserved it (413)
On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States
Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5063) - you deserved it (380)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan
Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5669) - you deserved it (1249)
On 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5303) - you deserved it (1161)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3540) - you deserved it (1173)
On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4842) - you deserved it (545)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1916) - you deserved it (5180)
On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7018) - you deserved it (660)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3448) - you deserved it (5925)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4900) - you deserved it (1128)
On 05/17/2012 at 10:37am - health - by Username (man) - Australia
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3856) - you deserved it (6648)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5558) - you deserved it (2037)
On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)
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