Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dacho

Search for a member

dacho

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18493
  • Number of comments : 306
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^

dacho's page activity

Visits<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Betterthanu123</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:20pm<b>The_Lazarus</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:28am<b>marinegrant</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 5:38pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:03pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:57am<b>chloemedwards</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:01pm<b>Jpev</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 10:50am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:08pm<b>Sbx426</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:35pm<b>joecool86</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 12:59am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:48pm<b>PrincessCastiel</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ShadowSneaker360</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:10pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:36pm<b>ubocmk</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 10:03pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 11:07pm

dacho's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of dacho's badges

dacho's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (3529)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34225) - you deserved it (9860)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

#17373083
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (11696)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

#17359587
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39564) - you deserved it (3821)

On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (7810)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

#17342514
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (4610)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:52am - health - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you deserved it (66107)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42884) - you deserved it (14357)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50593) - you deserved it (9769)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11649) - you deserved it (65399)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26799) - you deserved it (4382)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (9698)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33468) - you deserved it (3649)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that horror movies do not exaggerate the pain of getting your nails ripped from your fingers. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: