About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^
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Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (8539)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14452) - you deserved it (22952)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (3236)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (1812)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (1933)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17776) - you deserved it (2614)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (8924)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (10241)
On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33741) - you deserved it (513)
On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States
Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (7042)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (3498)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:52am - health - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18203) - you deserved it (49524)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (7600)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9516) - you deserved it (49806)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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