dacho

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dacho

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25960
  • Number of comments : 306
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^

dacho's page activity

Visits<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:11pm<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:19am<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:41pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Erin2009</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:04am<b>LucasVDB</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:19pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:21pm<b>melons</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:47pm<b>DerekHogeland</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:05am<b>Kazze</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 6:33am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:46pm<b>CaseyOfAsgard</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:06am<b>Marine6297</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:47pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:00pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:14am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:54pm

Fucked!<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:24pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:15pm

dacho's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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dacho's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

by Dalistair / 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm / Romania (Buzau) / Miscellaneous

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2013 at 11:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

by Uncomfortable / 05/17/2013 at 3:21am / Intimacy

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy