Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dacho

Search for a member

dacho

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18949
  • Number of comments : 306
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^

dacho's page activity

Visits<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Betterthanu123</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:20pm<b>The_Lazarus</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:28am<b>marinegrant</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 5:38pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:03pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:57am<b>chloemedwards</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:01pm<b>Jpev</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 10:50am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:08pm<b>Sbx426</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:35pm<b>joecool86</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 12:59am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:48pm<b>PrincessCastiel</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ShadowSneaker360</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:10pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:36pm<b>ubocmk</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 10:03pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 11:07pm

dacho's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of dacho's badges

dacho's favorite FMLs

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50181) - you deserved it (8359)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49224) - you deserved it (2806)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49336) - you deserved it (8732)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78016) - you deserved it (7081)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51419) - you deserved it (3668)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58529) - you deserved it (3811)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37850) - you deserved it (2837)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40218) - you deserved it (2836)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48115) - you deserved it (10128)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53267) - you deserved it (8402)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (4712)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68832) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML

#20729993
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42183) - you deserved it (2997)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by VacationRuined (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68321) - you deserved it (12870)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: