About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^
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Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (27828)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (3661)
On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (23875)
On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)
Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because "I need to watch my weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28575) - you deserved it (5154)
On 08/24/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by jace17 - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38256) - you deserved it (10978)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11078) - you deserved it (17559)
On 08/19/2010 at 7:25am - misc - by FreeToFly3733 - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29970) - you deserved it (1829)
On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15797) - you deserved it (21897)
On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33569) - you deserved it (3574)
On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (2781)
On 08/11/2010 at 5:19am - health - by Thepunchline (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (10180)
On 08/11/2010 at 5:16am - intimacy - by KBL3 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20872) - you deserved it (9259)
On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (24646)
On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34115) - you deserved it (426)
On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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