Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dacho

Search for a member

dacho

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20057
  • Number of comments : 306
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^

dacho's page activity

Visits<b>CaseyOfAsgard</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:06am<b>Marine6297</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:47pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:00pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:14am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Betterthanu123</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:20pm<b>The_Lazarus</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:28am<b>marinegrant</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 5:38pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:03pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:57am<b>chloemedwards</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:01pm<b>Jpev</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 10:50am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:08pm<b>Sbx426</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:35pm<b>joecool86</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 12:59am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:48pm

Liked!<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:15pm

dacho's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of dacho's badges

dacho's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

#15379416
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52869) - you deserved it (7780)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29674) - you deserved it (5866)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15934) - you deserved it (47526)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45979) - you deserved it (8732)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39049) - you deserved it (10564)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (3976)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13458) - you deserved it (34829)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

#15143494
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11825) - you deserved it (37063)

On 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nuttjacob (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49375) - you deserved it (41029)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (6713)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46205) - you deserved it (13259)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10029) - you deserved it (58763)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15380) - you deserved it (58836)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: