dacho

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dacho

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25138
  • Number of comments : 306
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^

dacho's page activity

Visits<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:11pm<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:19am<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:41pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Erin2009</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:04am<b>LucasVDB</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:19pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:21pm<b>melons</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:47pm<b>DerekHogeland</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:05am<b>Kazze</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 6:33am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:46pm<b>CaseyOfAsgard</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:06am<b>Marine6297</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:47pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:00pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:14am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:54pm

Fucked!<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:24pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:15pm

dacho's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of dacho's badges

dacho's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

by nosleeptilpissoff / 03/18/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

by fourfootnine / 03/07/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Intimacy

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

by notsosmart / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

by Nuttjacob / 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

by howler / 02/15/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

by RyanM / 02/13/2011 at 4:01am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML