About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29130) - you deserved it (4146)
On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51122) - you deserved it (9744)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (2084)
On 11/29/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Username -
Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20399) - you deserved it (2556)
On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11974) - you deserved it (16398)
On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (2646)
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6814) - you deserved it (45216)
On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20708) - you deserved it (4222)
On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8089) - you deserved it (20322)
On 11/11/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40469) - you deserved it (13599)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16469) - you deserved it (46591)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10432) - you deserved it (19288)
On 11/03/2010 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17131) - you deserved it (7923)
On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (2978)
On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
