About dacho : Nintendocore, mathcore, emo, screamo, post-hc, pop punk, punk rock. Vegetarian. Agnostic. Anime, TV shows, movies. Bass. Online 'gamer' and 'gamer'. Internetz ^^
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (2188)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (2910) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31191)
Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12274) - you deserved it (3482)
On 07/01/2012 at 12:30am - animals - by emi -
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you deserved it (1389)
On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -
Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (2113)
On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15869) - you deserved it (2556)
On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (3127) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6394) - you deserved it (21267)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm - health - by justnance - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22450) - you deserved it (5324)
On 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lalala - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22324) - you deserved it (1624)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (4185)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (2097)
On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (2018)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (4086)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
