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Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (2537)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (1552)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10869) - you deserved it (2018)
On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (4431)
On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (3945)
On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13937) - you deserved it (6674)
On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)
Today, my date threw a fit, burst into tears, and made a huge scene in the middle of a crowded restaurant, all because I offered to pay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (1860)
On 11/14/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17291) - you deserved it (2196)
On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (1656)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:32pm - misc - by deviable - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (2134)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Romania (Mures)
Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you deserved it (2425)
On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18108) - you deserved it (2182)
On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (2321)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55248) - you deserved it (2619)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
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