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cvntagious's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
by a little less poor at least / 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm / United States / Love
by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy
by s0m3guy2010 / 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by RaveCharlie / 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML
by esbemebe1113 / 03/27/2013 at 5:12pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
by turnoff / 09/17/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Dr. Virgin / 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
by waitingformyfoodstamps / 01/24/2009 at 5:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
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- Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway.… Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing… Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples.…