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cvizzle

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cvizzle

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cvizzle's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19300) - you deserved it (238646)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (4933)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47265) - you deserved it (7900)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

#4983911
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34645) - you deserved it (10869)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

#4342060
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61265) - you deserved it (7547)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

#4010717
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47421) - you deserved it (6708)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69613) - you deserved it (12233)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a facebook relationship request from my crush of 2 and a half years. I was so excited until he posted on my wall, "Sorry wrong Catherine". FML

#3334835
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46342) - you deserved it (5324)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by wowzersthatsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50940) - you deserved it (7865)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

#1901911
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61773) - you deserved it (4943)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, before going to bed my phone lit up and I got all excited because I thought it was a text message. My phone was finished charging. FML

#1611254
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24556) - you deserved it (42607)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by nolove (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML

#1445929
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73014) - you deserved it (3701)

On 04/29/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by kattydoo07 - United States (Illinois)



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