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cvizzle

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cvizzle

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cvizzle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15659) - you deserved it (7658)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17979) - you deserved it (28956)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20142) - you deserved it (24879)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

#12579737
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/17/2010 at 7:43am - work - by JoannaG25 (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

#12344215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (7642)

On 08/06/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by Shouldaknown (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38557) - you deserved it (3292)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

#12300042
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49694) - you deserved it (8258)

On 08/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Alisha Marie - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (3630)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (2942)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

#11989675
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58583) - you deserved it (3577)

On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

#11960471
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (18237)

On 07/18/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by holly (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

#11867757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (5418)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32213) - you deserved it (9073)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16416) - you deserved it (25055)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32251) - you deserved it (2726)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)



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