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cvizzle

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cvizzle's favorite FMLs

Today, everyone at work was demanding I stage a party at my house. I agreed to it and rushed home to tidy up before the guests arrived. No one showed up. FML

#13906681
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (3354)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32708) - you deserved it (17102)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML

#13867056
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (10170)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

#13694009
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (2452)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm - work - by werewolfoflondon (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, I was caught picking my nose, on camera, in an elevator. The security guard stopped me on my way out of the building to tell me how funny it was. FML

#13644556
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (26209)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:12am - work - by mortified (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (14130)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

#13612970
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (5106)

On 10/27/2010 at 8:36am - love - by me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

#13601859
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (4019)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12931) - you deserved it (35641)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (27724)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML

#13551763
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (35716)

On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

#13539571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29624) - you deserved it (3515)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

#13442397
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you deserved it (3171)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:15am - misc - by A. - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (20882)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)



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