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Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7829) - you totally deserved it (2661)
On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30216) - you totally deserved it (1655)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you totally deserved it (1949)
On 02/08/2010 at 9:18am - love - by DD - Sent from mobile version
Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happens to be my 18 year old sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28762) - you totally deserved it (2397)
On 02/05/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by whoknows?! - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you totally deserved it (2853)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I received a phonecall from my son's school. Apparantly, for the past week he has been telling everyone 'mummy works as a drug dealer.' I'm a pharmacist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19285) - you totally deserved it (1702)
On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom
Today I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got a 60. She said I would have had a 100, except for the giant coffee stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38571) - you totally deserved it (1618)
On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22487) - you totally deserved it (9096)
On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11424) - you totally deserved it (34402)
On 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28745) - you totally deserved it (14050)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42032) - you totally deserved it (8625)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you totally deserved it (10329)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4180) - you totally deserved it (50062)
On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you totally deserved it (6359)
On 06/25/2009 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was looking through my high school yearbook. I found a picture of myself and a couple of my friends at our senior prom. The caption gave the names of all my friends, their dates who didn't attend our school, and listed me only as "guest." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you totally deserved it (1299)
On 06/22/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by highschoolnobody (woman) - United States
