About crush451 : i'm a shy girl who is OBSESSED with piercings! (so far i've got 7) shy and piercing freak aren't usually associated which makes it weird but thats me all over :) anything else just ask
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Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (11874)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22324) - you deserved it (1624)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17026) - you deserved it (1590)
On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10942) - you deserved it (27567)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (4077)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9782) - you deserved it (43122)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19400) - you deserved it (3099)
On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17742) - you deserved it (6815)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (1967)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (5802)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25497) - you deserved it (3982)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32434) - you deserved it (16295)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (17390)
On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45786) - you deserved it (4518)
On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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