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crackpotL

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crackpotL

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 September 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1601
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crackpotL's favorite FMLs

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12253) - you deserved it (44877)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (2943)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

#11056176
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (6945)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

#11056176
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (6945)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39398) - you deserved it (3463)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35614) - you deserved it (8129)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (4791)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7949) - you deserved it (68029)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30961) - you deserved it (6953)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46517) - you deserved it (7799)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6434122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (10333)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

#6085563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (6387)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by dogsickftl - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

#6053376
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9717) - you deserved it (50768)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10490) - you deserved it (55843)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you deserved it (80053)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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