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crackpotL

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crackpotL

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 September 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1690
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crackpotL's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (44019)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89566) - you deserved it (13988)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57106) - you deserved it (4617)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51473) - you deserved it (9884)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

#16877563
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47644) - you deserved it (4170)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out my wife isn't cheating. She says she's just getting older and sex isn't important anymore. She's 27. FML

#16758586
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (4650)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:43am - intimacy - by wtf - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13466) - you deserved it (59745)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21362) - you deserved it (65453)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

#15914349
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42110) - you deserved it (6262)

On 04/25/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by neverdatingacopagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46758) - you deserved it (7401)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18340) - you deserved it (83187)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

#15239631
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you deserved it (92644)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13394) - you deserved it (47625)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15165) - you deserved it (38173) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
466 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71709) - you deserved it (3836)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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