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Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35381) - you deserved it (4936)
On 04/25/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by neverdatingacopagain (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38932) - you deserved it (6656)
On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14049) - you deserved it (64594)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6152) - you deserved it (69218)
On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10343) - you deserved it (36054)
On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10774) - you deserved it (27387) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58008) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9505) - you deserved it (33414)
On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29871) - you deserved it (2119)
On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (5084)
On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)
Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (5084)
On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30082) - you deserved it (2503)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (6033)
On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (3705)
On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)
Monday 20 May 2013
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