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crackpotL's favorite FMLs
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by ksmith / 08/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by A girl / 06/27/2011 at 3:55am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work
by wtf / 06/20/2011 at 3:43am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
by neverdatingacopagain / 04/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
by Thatslife / 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Intimacy