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crackpotL

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crackpotL
  • Town/Country : Calgary, canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 September 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 547
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crackpotL's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (5253)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (17834)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16424) - you deserved it (3676)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (4337)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (2890)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (4207)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (67995)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (3193)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (73800)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15115) - you deserved it (28069)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (39851)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80455) - you deserved it (11873)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50873) - you deserved it (4316)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48861) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)



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