Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crackpotL

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

crackpotL

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 September 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1583
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

crackpotL's page activity

Visits<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:20am<b>cutiepie292929</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:59am<b>gunnerette</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 5:17pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:41am<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:35am<b>Dowbo</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:20am<b>NoCraicAtAll</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:17am<b>laamjidkek</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:36pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 4:22pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:45am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:12am<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:15am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:53pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:30pm<b>j_cat187</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:02am<b>tayymeds</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:52pm<b>gmian</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:56pm

crackpotL's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of crackpotL's badges

crackpotL's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (3914)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (29933)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30812) - you deserved it (1931)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
587 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14226) - you deserved it (56207) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (5471)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (18560)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (4137)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (4626)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (3006)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53995) - you deserved it (4605)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12084) - you deserved it (91457)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29263) - you deserved it (3756)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32987) - you deserved it (4348)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19105) - you deserved it (79364)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18051) - you deserved it (32437)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: