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Today, I found out that my wife purposefully eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (2207)
On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44466) - you deserved it (3852)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (66089)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24211) - you deserved it (437)
On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)
Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (3168)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14789) - you deserved it (57477)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13584) - you deserved it (21493)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (29768)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71659) - you deserved it (9144)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47772) - you deserved it (4094)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43323) - you deserved it (7600)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (3172)
On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I found out my wife isn't cheating. She says she's just getting older and sex isn't important anymore. She's 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36501) - you deserved it (3495)
On 06/20/2011 at 3:43am - intimacy - by wtf - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10294) - you deserved it (52555)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17077) - you deserved it (48231)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Friday 24 May 2013
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