Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

crackpotL

Offline (yesterday at 8:53pm) | Search for a member

crackpotL

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 September 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1127
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

crackpotL's page activity

Visits<b>buckydargon</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:45am<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:12am<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:15am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:53pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:30pm<b>j_cat187</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:02am<b>tayymeds</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:52pm<b>gmian</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:56pm<b>AFCCT</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 5:08pm<b>windell</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:33pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:33pm<b>xadoringx</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:45am<b>rainbow_llamas</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:01am<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 9:09pm<b>ijayp</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 8:49am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:27pm

crackpotL's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of crackpotL's badges

crackpotL's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (2798)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (3492)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (10439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (71796)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11481) - you deserved it (152869)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (39574)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (36636)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (3582)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (4010)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12787) - you deserved it (26598)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13152) - you deserved it (23578)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (3972) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (3903)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17413) - you deserved it (29798)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (1920)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: