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cquintanar

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  • Number of visits : 565
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>ursulbmw</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:19am

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cquintanar's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

#18508654
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32650) - you deserved it (10939)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41227) - you deserved it (3054)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

#18503694
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14228) - you deserved it (43694)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41717) - you deserved it (10828)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40941) - you deserved it (16556)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43653) - you deserved it (2966)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

#18429181
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43617) - you deserved it (3547)

On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18308) - you deserved it (41335)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

#18425208
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (23124)

On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (4927)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

#18423886
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37426) - you deserved it (2375)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

#18421974
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (4652)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year old". FML

#18419165
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (3579)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55129) - you deserved it (5527) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France



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