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cquintanar

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cquintanar

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  • Number of visits : 706
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Visits<b>ursulbmw</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:19am

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cquintanar's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40559) - you deserved it (4065)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9572) - you deserved it (57696)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

#18546937
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13735) - you deserved it (26444)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15344) - you deserved it (39322)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML

#18534413
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11282) - you deserved it (48434)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:30am - love - by SuperCoolGurl (woman) - Australia

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (5365)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

#18531545
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (5257)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by agony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

#18526714
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (35748)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML

#18518938
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9208) - you deserved it (33232)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

#18517273
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (24532)

On 12/15/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19010) - you deserved it (9524)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

#18515072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (25155)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

#18513087
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:00pm - love - by dumped (woman) - United Kingdom



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