cquintanar

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cquintanar

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1008
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>ursulbmw</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:19am

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cquintanar's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

by PC Jones / 09/20/2011 at 10:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I told my husband that I wanted him to stay sober during the week. He responded by saying he wanted me to be a supermodel during the week. FML

by brinn / 09/16/2011 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

by BlootheBawss / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I reached the point in my life where Target is the "expensive" store. FML

by anti88 / 08/31/2011 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

by acnebutt / 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

by Tom / 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

by the2girls / 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

by Kathryn / 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love