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cquintanar

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Visits<b>ursulbmw</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:19am

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cquintanar's favorite FMLs

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42882) - you deserved it (4367)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45653) - you deserved it (8187)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (2807)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my husband that I wanted him to stay sober during the week. He responded by saying he wanted me to be a supermodel during the week. FML

#17755758
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (8892)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:15am - love - by brinn - United States (California)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

#17734053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28450) - you deserved it (2170)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35139) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, I reached the point in my life where Target is the "expensive" store. FML

#17632627
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (3959)

On 08/31/2011 at 9:55pm - money - by anti88 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

#17597483
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24853) - you deserved it (4874)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

#17521930
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (5141)

On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7634) - you deserved it (96039)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43281) - you deserved it (6401)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (4614)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (14339)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (5601)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)



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