Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

coolkid_matt

Search for a member

coolkid_matt

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2216
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About coolkid_matt : Hey :)

I'm Matt.

I play football.
I like basketball - Miami Heat FTW.
I like hip hop, rap, dubstep, drumstep & other electronic music :)

Message me if you'd like to know more though I may not be on often, usually just on my iphone :)

coolkid_matt's page activity

Visits<b>unkydunky</b> - yesterday at 5:25pm<b>shyvante21</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Emmmmmer</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:45pm<b>j0rdan12345</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:05am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:43pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 12:35am<b>ironfey</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:06am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 11:26am<b>Iceking224</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 3:33pm<b>MrsLazy</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>binger_gitch</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:14pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:56pm<b>sallybookers</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 11:35pm<b>jarobjent</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 11:32pm<b>skittlesllama</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:40pm<b>kak_999999999</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:36pm<b>crenshawxmafia</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 2:19pm<b>max367</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 6:32pm

coolkid_matt's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of coolkid_matt's badges

coolkid_matt's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34254) - you deserved it (2355)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (11459)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (9663)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85037) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

#17715363
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (2924)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
579 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (232184)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you deserved it (6042) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (3777)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39819) - you deserved it (27353)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22352) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (6343)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29584) - you deserved it (2744)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

#17666764
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (13775)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29782) - you deserved it (4006)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31848) - you deserved it (2638)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: