About coolkid_matt : Hey :)
I play football.
I like basketball - Miami Heat FTW.
I like hip hop, rap, dubstep, drumstep & other electronic music :)
Message me if you'd like to know more though I may not be on often, usually just on my iphone :)
About coolkid_matt : Hey :)
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coolkid_matt's favorite FMLs
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML
by justhereforlaughs / 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by 5.9Cummins / 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
by sadsadperson / 09/07/2011 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
by Shamed / 09/06/2011 at 4:06am / United Kingdom / Work
by foreseeingabreakup / 09/06/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 12:38am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by ironic driver / 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…