About coolkid_matt : Hey :)
I play football.
I like basketball - Miami Heat FTW.
I like hip hop, rap, dubstep, drumstep & other electronic music :)
Message me if you'd like to know more though I may not be on often, usually just on my iphone :)
About coolkid_matt : Hey :)
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coolkid_matt's favorite FMLs
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML
by justhereforlaughs / 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by 5.9Cummins / 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
by sadsadperson / 09/07/2011 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
by Shamed / 09/06/2011 at 4:06am / United Kingdom / Work
by foreseeingabreakup / 09/06/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 12:38am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by ironic driver / 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy