coolkid_matt

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coolkid_matt

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4202
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About coolkid_matt : Hey :)

I'm Matt.

I play football.
I like basketball - Miami Heat FTW.
I like hip hop, rap, dubstep, drumstep & other electronic music :)

Message me if you'd like to know more though I may not be on often, usually just on my iphone :)

coolkid_matt's page activity

Visits<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 2:14pm<b>pat3212</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 11:19pm<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 1:55pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 3:35am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:14am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 11:07am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:06pm<b>konan__</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:25am<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:49am<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 3:09pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:35pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 12:56pm<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:46am<b>Varieus</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:28am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 6:47pm<b>MiLM</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:48am<b>Hunthas</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:48am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:52pm

Fucked!<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:09am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:07pm

coolkid_matt's FML badges

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coolkid_matt's favorite FMLs

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

by Awie / 10/20/2011 at 4:26am / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

by tommyboy783 / 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a concert. I got into a fist fight with a drunk girl. My older brother tried to pull me away from her by holding both my arms back. I spent the last half of the concert in the hospital because I couldn't shield my face. FML

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

by Eet- / 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

by Hoggiebear / 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

by Mike Polk / 10/03/2011 at 8:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

by TheAnnoyedNeighbor / 10/03/2011 at 2:08am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

by Help. / 09/29/2011 at 1:36pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2011 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 6:41am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy