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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4340
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About coolkid_matt : Hey :)

I'm Matt.

I play football.
I like basketball - Miami Heat FTW.
I like hip hop, rap, dubstep, drumstep & other electronic music :)

Message me if you'd like to know more though I may not be on often, usually just on my iphone :)

coolkid_matt's page activity

Visits<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 2:14pm<b>pat3212</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 11:19pm<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 1:55pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 3:35am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:14am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 11:07am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:06pm<b>konan__</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:25am<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:49am<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 3:09pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:35pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 12:56pm<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:46am<b>Varieus</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:28am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 6:47pm<b>MiLM</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:48am<b>Hunthas</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:48am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:52pm

Fucked!<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:09am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:07pm

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coolkid_matt's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

by missprude666 / 01/19/2012 at 3:32am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

by bad luck? / 01/19/2012 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

by / 01/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States / Health

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

by anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

by tacoboy27 / 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy