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coolkid_matt

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coolkid_matt
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1924
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About coolkid_matt : Hey :)

I'm Matt.

I play football.
I like basketball - Miami Heat FTW.
I like hip hop, rap, dubstep, drumstep & other electronic music :)

Message me if you'd like to know more though I may not be on often, usually just on my iphone :)

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coolkid_matt's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (3572)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

#18850090
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (9419)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (36794)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (37893)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (3601)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27712) - you deserved it (4465)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50152) - you deserved it (10127)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (34593)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

#18569912
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (2824)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tacoboy27 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15402) - you deserved it (50598)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9136) - you deserved it (56055)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (15803)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States



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