About coolkid_matt : Hey :)
I play football.
I like basketball - Miami Heat FTW.
I like hip hop, rap, dubstep, drumstep & other electronic music :)
Message me if you'd like to know more though I may not be on often, usually just on my iphone :)
About coolkid_matt : Hey :)
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coolkid_matt's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
by missprude666 / 01/19/2012 at 3:32am / Australia / Intimacy
by bad luck? / 01/19/2012 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by hurts.to.pee / 01/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health
by tacoboy27 / 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy