FML: coolkid_matt

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coolkid_matt

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Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
Title : Mister
Birth Date : Tuesday 2 July 1996 (15 years)
Number of visits : 816
Number of comments : 95
Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About coolkid_matt : Hey :)

I'm Matt.

I play football.
I like basketball - Miami Heat FTW.
I like hip hop, rap, dubstep, drumstep & other electronic music :)

Message me if you'd like to know more though I may not be on often, usually just on my iphone :)

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coolkid_matt's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (6579) - you deserved it (2595)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

#19414574 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (17706) - you deserved it (2743)

On 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

#19399007 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (5594) - you deserved it (1851)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (9928) - you deserved it (667)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (6389)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (7818) - you deserved it (857)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (12593) - you deserved it (1279)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (10717) - you deserved it (1285)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (11314) - you deserved it (2178)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (3782) - you deserved it (5090)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks (8998) - you deserved it (847)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (11362) - you deserved it (644)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (5809) - you deserved it (31100)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (572)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we received our honeymoon itinerary. Our travel agent booked our flight to Punta Cana correctly. Too bad she booked us a hotel in Orlando, Florida. FML

#18851649 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (7959) - you deserved it (671)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:44am - misc - by handymandy - United States

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