Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cognauticcreix

Search for a member

cognauticcreix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 338
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cognauticcreix : I'm still figuring out what anyone would actually give a shit about in one of these things.

cognauticcreix's page activity

Visits<b>DeadxTime</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:33am<b>WockaFloctapus</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:16am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 1:03am<b>DemolitionLovers</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Lindahhxd</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 12:45am<b>gigi1818</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 10:30am<b>Itsbinkyyo</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 10:46pm<b>xEyesSetToKillx</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 2:34am<b>footcheezeez</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Latressa298</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 3:58pm<b>sunkissedluster</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 5:22am<b>emily20</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 8:34am<b>DDCA</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 4:06am<b>cuponoodles34</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 2:49am<b>VolleyAly</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:50am<b>fatlemonjefferso</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:35am<b>gibbyrules</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:23am<b>Charleybelle</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:20am

cognauticcreix's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of cognauticcreix's badges

cognauticcreix's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32886) - you deserved it (3673)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10886) - you deserved it (20950)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (1584)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (3665)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML

#20183027
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (1908)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18754) - you deserved it (4289)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (3989)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (1493)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19396) - you deserved it (1340)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (2240)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18362) - you deserved it (6866)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: