About Cognauticcreix
I'm still figuring out what anyone would actually give a shit about in one of these things.
Cognauticcreix - Followers
Cognauticcreix - Followed
Hugged!
Cognauticcreix's FML badges
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • FAAAAAACEBOOK

    Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    2%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
    40%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    29%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    28%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    12%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    27%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Cognauticcreix's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

By methane overload - / Saturday 19 January 2013 01:32 / United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

By kk / Wednesday 9 January 2013 16:07 / United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 6 January 2013 13:06 / United States - Tampa

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

By musicalducky - / Saturday 5 January 2013 22:04 / Canada - Calgary

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

By Les Miserables is so sad - / Wednesday 2 January 2013 23:38 / Canada - Saint Albert