About cockneywormhole : FML is indeed my addiction. I enjoy laughing at the stories and occasionally commenting. I do try to be funny, but it usually crashes and burns. If you want to message me, go ahead, though I'm not promising you'll get a quick reply.
I enjoy music quite a lot. I generally tend to like bands like The Pixies, The Hives, The Pogues and Bad Religion, but I love any music really, I'm willing to give anything a listen. Currently in two bands called Horror Frog and The Chosen Men. I play guitar and bass guitar, used to play the fiddle, but quit when I was young, I would love to pick it up again though.
My profile picture is an illustration by my Aunt. She makes and illustrates jewelry, brooches, tea towels, shirts and many other things. If you want to see more of her things, just look up Small Stories or Gabrielle Reith.
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Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30578) - you deserved it (271091)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (2530)
On 05/11/2009 at 12:06am - animals - by progressiveboink (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53182) - you deserved it (4773)
On 04/27/2009 at 5:50pm - animals - by Tragic (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (549960) - you deserved it (35348)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (58058) - you deserved it (5645)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (58058) - you deserved it (5645)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (58058) - you deserved it (5645)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199423) - you deserved it (58850)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307404) - you deserved it (40955)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (526466) - you deserved it (319282)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53294) - you deserved it (585609)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102669) - you deserved it (17441)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177994) - you deserved it (61464)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527186) - you deserved it (37888)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (26173)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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