cockneywormhole

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Offline (the 02/17/2014 at 11:46pm)

cockneywormhole

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2875
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cockneywormhole : FML is indeed my addiction. I enjoy laughing at the stories and occasionally commenting. I do try to be funny, but it usually crashes and burns. If you want to message me, go ahead, though I'm not promising you'll get a quick reply.
I enjoy music quite a lot. I generally tend to like bands like The Pixies, The Hives, Arctic Monkeys and Bad Religion, but I love any music really, I'm willing to give anything a listen. I play guitar and bass guitar, used to play violin, but quit when I was young, I would love to pick it up again though.

cockneywormhole's page activity

Visits<b>Domo17</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 6:51pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:28pm<b>jessherself13</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 3:28pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:28am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 12:08pm<b>TheScottishChe</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 12:58pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:27pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:43pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:31pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 2:46pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 11:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:15am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:27pm<b>zilla52</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 4:23am<b>carry_on</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 3:08am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:25pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 3:35pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:19am

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cockneywormhole's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

by progressiveboink / 05/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML

by Tragic / 04/27/2009 at 5:50pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Kids

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Kids

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Kids

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

by Noname / 02/04/2009 at 6:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

by mat / 01/21/2009 at 1:02am / Miscellaneous