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cockneywormhole

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cockneywormhole
  • Town/Country : Aberdeen, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 406
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cockneywormhole : FML is indeed my addiction. I enjoy laughing at the stories and occasionally commenting. I do try to be funny, but it usually crashes and burns. If you want to message me, go ahead, though I'm not promising you'll get a quick reply.
I enjoy music quite a lot. I generally tend to like bands like The Pixies, The Hives, Arctic Monkeys and Bad Religion, but I love any music really, I'm willing to give anything a listen. I play guitar and bass guitar, used to play violin, but quit when I was young, I would love to pick it up again though.

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cockneywormhole's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

#17588509
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (2602)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19173) - you deserved it (8391)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

#17379183
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (2087)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28180) - you deserved it (3958)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML

#14377623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (2037)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Shepaintsmusic -

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (46066)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

#10612063
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (3438)

On 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by tallwoman (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

#6534520
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (5029)

On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

#5907906
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36342) - you deserved it (2852)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:26am - health - by 20lbknockout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41108) - you deserved it (3914)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15129) - you deserved it (332571)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

#4475773
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53499) - you deserved it (3305)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:09pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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