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Offline (the 02/17/2014 at 11:46pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2739
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cockneywormhole : FML is indeed my addiction. I enjoy laughing at the stories and occasionally commenting. I do try to be funny, but it usually crashes and burns. If you want to message me, go ahead, though I'm not promising you'll get a quick reply.
I enjoy music quite a lot. I generally tend to like bands like The Pixies, The Hives, Arctic Monkeys and Bad Religion, but I love any music really, I'm willing to give anything a listen. I play guitar and bass guitar, used to play violin, but quit when I was young, I would love to pick it up again though.

cockneywormhole's page activity

Visits<b>Domo17</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 6:51pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:28pm<b>jessherself13</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 3:28pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:28am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 12:08pm<b>TheScottishChe</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 12:58pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:27pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:43pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:31pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 2:46pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 11:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:15am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:27pm<b>zilla52</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 4:23am<b>carry_on</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 3:08am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:25pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 3:35pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:19am

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cockneywormhole's favorite FMLs

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

by en3rg1zer21 / 08/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

by cdn_steed / 04/23/2011 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML

by Shepaintsmusic / 12/29/2010 at 1:50am / Health

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

by tallwoman / 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm / Denmark (Arhus) / Health

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

by 20lbknockout / 10/20/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I heard a girl telling her friend all about her boyfriend, John. They talked about the grocery store that he works at, and that he drives a nice yellow mustang. My boyfriend's name is John, works at that same grocery store, and drives a nice yellow mustang. FML

by Kelly / 08/12/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous