cockneywormhole

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Offline (the 02/17/2014 at 11:46pm)

cockneywormhole

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1967
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cockneywormhole : FML is indeed my addiction. I enjoy laughing at the stories and occasionally commenting. I do try to be funny, but it usually crashes and burns. If you want to message me, go ahead, though I'm not promising you'll get a quick reply.
I enjoy music quite a lot. I generally tend to like bands like The Pixies, The Hives, Arctic Monkeys and Bad Religion, but I love any music really, I'm willing to give anything a listen. I play guitar and bass guitar, used to play violin, but quit when I was young, I would love to pick it up again though.

cockneywormhole's page activity

Visits<b>Domo17</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 6:51pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:28pm<b>jessherself13</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 3:28pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:28am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 12:08pm<b>TheScottishChe</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 12:58pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:27pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:43pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:31pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 2:46pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 11:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:15am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:27pm<b>zilla52</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 4:23am<b>carry_on</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 3:08am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:25pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 3:35pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:19am

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cockneywormhole's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

by Jeanna S. / 11/23/2012 at 10:10am / United States / Animals

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

by kitty / 11/11/2012 at 5:10am / Australia / Animals

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

by Ceej / 10/28/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML

by katier8295 / 10/27/2012 at 8:43am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

by birthday girl / 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm / Australia / Animals

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids