cockneywormhole

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Offline (the 02/17/2014 at 11:46pm)

cockneywormhole

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2872
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cockneywormhole : FML is indeed my addiction. I enjoy laughing at the stories and occasionally commenting. I do try to be funny, but it usually crashes and burns. If you want to message me, go ahead, though I'm not promising you'll get a quick reply.
I enjoy music quite a lot. I generally tend to like bands like The Pixies, The Hives, Arctic Monkeys and Bad Religion, but I love any music really, I'm willing to give anything a listen. I play guitar and bass guitar, used to play violin, but quit when I was young, I would love to pick it up again though.

cockneywormhole's page activity

Visits<b>Domo17</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 6:51pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:28pm<b>jessherself13</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 3:28pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:28am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 12:08pm<b>TheScottishChe</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 12:58pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:27pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:43pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 7:31pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 2:46pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 11:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:15am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 2:27pm<b>zilla52</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 4:23am<b>carry_on</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 3:08am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:25pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 3:35pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 1:19am

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cockneywormhole's favorite FMLs

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

by SApprentice / 12/19/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

by Single / 12/04/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Love

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

by FUSheldon / 11/28/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

by ToxxicAngel / 11/27/2012 at 10:35am / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 8:59am / United States / Kids

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

by Tymer / 11/23/2012 at 10:56am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous