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cockneywormhole

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cockneywormhole
  • Town/Country : Aberdeen, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 394
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cockneywormhole : FML is indeed my addiction. I enjoy laughing at the stories and occasionally commenting. I do try to be funny, but it usually crashes and burns. If you want to message me, go ahead, though I'm not promising you'll get a quick reply.
I enjoy music quite a lot. I generally tend to like bands like The Pixies, The Hives, Arctic Monkeys and Bad Religion, but I love any music really, I'm willing to give anything a listen. I play guitar and bass guitar, used to play violin, but quit when I was young, I would love to pick it up again though.

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cockneywormhole's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14590) - you deserved it (24704)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54529) - you deserved it (10197)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18817) - you deserved it (35946)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31625) - you deserved it (2255)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (3309)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35355) - you deserved it (6614)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (4549)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (5046)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (5046)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15577) - you deserved it (26365)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (3918)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9156) - you deserved it (28693)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75772) - you deserved it (23120)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38457) - you deserved it (13131)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



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