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  • Number of visits : 1032
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

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cocacola999's page activity

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cocacola999's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (2315)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (4415)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (2915) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/27/2014 at 10:22am - health - by DiiiDiiine (woman) - France (Limousin)

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (2331)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35308) - you deserved it (3725)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (51473)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32826) - you deserved it (4449)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36525) - you deserved it (7178)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (4514)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that I have been promised for the last two years because, I "don't suffer idiots well." Idiots. FML

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML


Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40872) - you deserved it (9487)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40004) - you deserved it (5736)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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